It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
