i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
