i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
