don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
