So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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