i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
