I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
