4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
