After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize