if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
