so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
