i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
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Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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