Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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