After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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