would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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