i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
