Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
