I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
