Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
