how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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