Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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