i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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