good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
