he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
