My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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