I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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