Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
