If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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