u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
