Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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