stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
