How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She's the barista slut.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
