would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
