I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
