I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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