its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
