haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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