So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
