a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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