I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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