everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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