he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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