is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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