Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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