one two three fourrrrnication!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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