The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
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The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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