He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
