I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
