I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize