This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
