My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
