She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
