Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
