he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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