I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
