Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
