I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize